


Nothing? Nothing (I want your love)

by gallusanonymus



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Artist Derek, First Time, Hurt Stiles, Loss of Virginity, Love at First Sight, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, POV Alternating, POV Derek Hale, POV Stiles, Please Don't Kill Me, Shy Stiles, Stalker Stiles Stilinski, Suicidal Stiles Stilinski, Virgin Stiles, You'll hate Derek, but I kind of like it, but then you won't hate him so much, idk - Freeform, im a shitty writer, kind of, you won't like danny, you'll hate me instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1884846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallusanonymus/pseuds/gallusanonymus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is a sensitive 19 y/o who lives opposite Derek. He thinks loves him, but Derek doesn't acknowledge Stiles' existence.</p><p>Derek is 27. And he doesn't believe in love. Will Stiles be able to change that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing? Nothing (I want your love)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf.  
> Based on [6th part of "The Decalogue"](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092337/) and ["A short movie about love"](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095467/) (the movies are the same but they have different endings, I'm not sure which one I'll choose in the end.)
> 
> English is not my native language.

Stiles was sitting at his desk. The older man came again, simply saying “A _dvice note_.” He was at least twenty-six, not older than thirty, though. With his two-days old stubble he looked incredibly handsome. He was very high and well build. Stiles could see the muscles through his gray t-shirt.  
  
“Sorry?” Stiles said when he realised he was looking at the man for definitely too long. “Didn’t catch your name.”  Not that he didn’t know the man’s name. He was Derek, his biggest crush,and he knew him since he moved in to the neighborhood. Stiles seen the man the very first day he moved in his apartment house, and became ~~a little~~ obsessed. His windows were opposite his. Stiles ended up buying binoculars.  
  
After a few weeks, he knew Derek’s schedule. He was sleeping till midday, then he came out of beed only to came back few minutes later with a large breakfast. Then, he would lay for a little longer, get a shower, and then, around first or first thirty, he would get up. Derek was an artist. His painting were colorful, yet they looked dangerous.  
  
Later Derek would go out somewhere, and came back with somebody. He was fucking with a stranger almost every night. Never the same person. He never had friends coming by, just one night stands. Stiles would gave everything to be with him just for one night. He coudn’t thing about giving his virginity to somebody else – for Stiles, Derek wasn’t just Derek, he was _the one_.  
  
Stiles created at least dozen paraler universes in his head in which he and Derek were friends, lovers, husbands... Stiles believed Derek was the perfet man. All of this started because of Derek’s looks  but Stiles believed that Hale was funny, smart and easy going. Not that he experienced it, he just thought that a man like Derek would be like that.

“Hale, Derek.”  
   
Stiles staryed looking through all the letters he had. “There’s nothing for you, sir. It must have been a mistake.” Of course, Stiles coudn’t tell him that he was the reason why Derek was getting notes. He coudn’t not take the opportunity to see him and hear his soft voice. It was good for his imagination. “You may check yourself if you want” he said moving the letters closer to the man. Hale didn’t even look at him.  
  
“It’s a third one this week” said Hale angirly. “Do you even train your postmans? Don’t answer that.” With this he was gone. ‘Great’ Stiles told himself, ‘just great.’  
  
  
***  
  
  
Stiles was sitting in his room. He was ready for his everyday routine: getting early shower, eating dinner and waiting for Derek to come home. Stiles easily get addicted to this. Why would he watch tv, if he could watch Derek?  
  
  
***  
  
  
Derek arrived around six, what was giving him (more or less, from what Stiles knew from his short obesrvations) two to three hours before going out to a club, or wherever he was getting his one night stands from. He would probably finish his painting before he left again.  
  
Stiles was right. When Derek closed the door, he grabbed something to eat and started undressing himself. He liked painting naked (much to Stiles’ contentment), it was pobably giving him the feeling of freedom.  
  
The phone rang. Derek got up and started looking for it. When he had picked up the blocked number shown. He could hear only quiet breathing. Nobody answeared his questions. “I’m _done_ wiht this!” he shouted to his phone. “Who’s there? I hear your breath, dickhead” Derek hissed and ended phone call. He wanted to come back to his work.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Stiles’ face was emotionless. He dialed Derek’s number again. The man didn’t even have time to put down his phone. Stiles could see his face when he was deciding what to do.  
  
„Hello” Derek answered.  
  
„I’m sorry” Stiles said and hung up.  
  
  
***  
  
„...and I’m living in the neighborhood anyway. I heard you need a new postman, but I can do some more shifts, I _need_ money. Plus that way I’ll have to move more, not only sit behind a desk. It’s good for people my age.”  
  
“Stiles…” said the boy’s boss. “You’re _nineteen_. I know you’re earning money for your college but I won’t give you more hours. I can’t. You’re too young to work so hard. Go, have fun with friends, have a life, find love…”  
  
“Please, please, _please_. It won’t be a problem. I would spend the time on the Internet anyway, that way I’ll get some extra money. Come on, boss!”  
  
“Fine, Stiles, i said _fine_. But you have to deliver it before eight daily. Are you sure? One hundred percent sure?”  
  
“Thank you, boss, you won’t regret it!” And the boy was gone. ‘I most centainly will regret this’ the man thought.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Delivering the post personally gave Stilles hope for running on Derek more often. He was too shy to start a proper conversation with him, but delivering his letters to his door gave him a great opportunity for a small talk.  
  
  
***  
  
  
“Oh, _come_ _on_!” Derek shouted. Stiles knew that this time what he did was too much. He left a note that Derek got some nice money after death of his long-forgotten aunt. Stiles thought it was serious enough for Derek to come, but he didn’t see the consequences coming.  
  
“The notes, they’re _fake_!” shouted his boss. “If you’ll come again with fake notes like these I’ll call the police!”  
  
“If I find them in my letter-box, _I_ ’ll call the police” Derek shouted back and turn back on his heel. Stiles waited a moment and told his boss he needed a break. After the man’s nod, he run after Hale. It was a long run. Derek was a really fast-walker. When he finally reached him, he was out of his breath. He didn’t know what to say, so he just walk by, staring at him. It took Derek a moment to realise he was not alone.  
  
“You want something from me?” he asked when he became aware of Stiles’ presence.  
  
“I… I wanted to say there wasn’t any money”  Stiles admitted. Derek rolled his eyes. He was still walking.  
  
“But the notes… It doesn’t matter, forget it.”  
  
“ _I_ was writting them. The notes. It was me.” Stiles said blushing. They stopped.  
  
“Why? I don’t understand.” Derek was looking really confused. Like he didn’t know what effect he had on Stiles. Oh wait, he didn’t have any idea.  
  
“I wanted to see you.” Stiles said quietly looking at his arms, like he was too embarassed to say it out loud. He was awoiding meeting the older man’s eyes.  
  
„ _Me_? You wanted to see me?” Derek look at the boy with disbelief and startad laughing. Then he continued on walking. Stiles felt defeated. He didn’t wan’t Derek to walk away from him. He wanted to go somewhere with him, just to spend time together. They could argue more about the bers Marvel’s supervillan. Stiles would (duh) win again. No, wait, it didn’t happen in reality. ‘Great Stiles, not you’re mixing you imagination with reality’ he thought to himself. He had to remember that Derek wasn’t just a knight on a white horse, he was also a flesh and blood. Alive, real person.  
  
Stiles turned towards the post office lookig at his feet. Suddenly he turned back one more time. “You cried yesterday!” he yelled after Derek. The man tensed and stopped walking. Stiles shoudn’t have said those words. With serious face Derek came all way back to Stiles. He was waiting. Stiles smiled to him tentatively.  
  
“What did you say? How did you know?”  
  
“I…I… I’m watching you.” Stiles finally admitted. He felt like a child again.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I’m looking at you through the window. I…” Stiles paused when he saw Derek’s face. The older man looked at him like he wanted to punch him. “Go away” he said. “ ** _Go_**! And fuck off”  
  
  
***  
  
  
Stiled didn’t ‘fuck off’. As every night, he sad in his room, after he turned off the lights. He was ready for Derek to arrive with his night date. His had was prepared for the night action. For a brief moment he was wandering how will Derek react to his confession, but he dropped this thought five seconds later.  
  
  
***  
  


Derek didn’t know what he should do. He didn’t have anybody. He was a rebel -his family didn’t accept his life choices so they lost a contact. He wasn't investing in any kind of long-term friendship, because he though it was a waste of time. He didn’t have a partner, because he didn’t believe in love. Why should he bother? But there were situations he wished he had somebody. Just to talk to. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t need anyone to fuck. Usually it wasn't a problem; he had more invitations to strangers bed that he could be busy with them till the end of the world. He didn’t let himself feel lonely, though. He was partying, filling his time with job (‘Oh shit, I had to fnish that painting, the exhibition is soon’) and sports. Everyday he had a good night sleep and he thought he was doing fine.  
  
When he came home he felt frustrated. Somebody was looking at him! At his life. Was he looking at him when he was painting? Naked? Fucking others? Of course he was.  
  
He never felt so sick in his life. He was aware of his body, and how he was making people react. But he never thought about having a stalker (‘Is he evena stalke?’) or not feeling safe in his own flat. This was definitely the worst, the weirdest day in years.  
  
He approached towards his windows. Finally, he was close enough to make them steam because his hot breath. He was looking for the boy’s window. That made him even angrier. ‘I’ll show him’ Derek though to himself.  
  
  
***  
  
  
His first move was to call Danny. He was texting to him a few days ealier. Danny was the closest person in his life but he wasnt even a real friend. They used to be partners in a buisness and they were texting from time to time. Danny told Derek recently that he’ll be back in the town. Derek called him with a proposition. Danny agreed.  
  
Derek moved his bed to give the boy, wherever he was, a better look at his bedroom activities. Derek felt like he has his life in control again when Danny said yes to a one-night thing. It was a great deal. He took a shower and change into a sexy, black boxers, and oversized, white shirt. He left it unbuttoned for the show. Danny was really handsome and Hale was going to enjoy himself. A lot.  
  
He came to the window again, and hesitantly raised his phone to show Stiles he wanted to talk. Blocked number showed on the screen almost immediately. “Hello”  Derek said. No answer. “I’m counting to three. One.. Two..”  
  
“Hi” Stiles said. He sounded like he was scared. Derek smiled. He couldn’t wait. He never was so impatient in his life.  
  
”Are you looking?” the older man asked. “Yeah” came Sitles’ unsure answer. “I moved the bed for you. Do you like it?”  
  
”Yes.”  
  
“Have fun.” Then Derek hung up.  
  
 With his last words Derek’s doorbell rang. He thrown his phone away and  walked towards the door more enthusiastic than usual. He let Danny in and didn’t even let him say a word. He grabbed him possessively and cupped his head in his palms. Then he leaned to him and crashed their mouths together. He kissed him greedily, but with a great passion. Danny kisssed right back, shyly at first, but he fastly gained the confidence. Danny started exploring Derek’s body. He started touching his biceps, then he moved to his chest only to grab his butt in the next second, pulling Derek closer. They lost themselves for a while. As the kisss went, Derek started undressing him while pushing Danny towards the bedroom. The man obeyed, pulling Derek closer to his arousal.  
  
A few moments and five bruises later, they were snogging in bed. Derek lost his shirt somewhere, but he still had his pants on. Danny in the other hand was completely naked. He was begging for more pressing his erection to Derek’s hardness, rocking slowly, but needly. His pupils were showing his arousal. Derek chanced his position to give Stiles a better view. He sank down, and concentrated himself on Danny’s arousal. He stroked him gently. Then he paused, and crawled closer to man’s face to kiss him again. He whispered something to his ear. When that happened Danny jumped out of beed and started putting his clothes on. Dannys face was bright red and Derek was laughing at something. He was pointing at the window.  
  
  
***  
  
  
”Get out! Come here, you fucker!” Danny shouted in the air looking at the appartment house Stiles was living in. “Come on! You’re afraid now?”  
  
Stiles knew he was screwed. He didn’t need a strange man shouting on him to know that. He was in deep shit.  
  
Deep shit.  
  
He locked his appartment and came down to face the angry man.  
  
“It’s you lover-boy?” the man asked smirking. Stiles wasn’t able to make a sound, so he nooded in response. If Derek’s lover was a basilisk, Stiles would have been dead by now. He was afraid, he didn’t know how to fight, and it was an only explanation why the man came to him. Danny looked at his mof a moment, like he was trying to gather his thoughts. Then, he raised his fist and punched him strong in the face. Stiles felt on his knees. “Don’t do that again, kid. It’s unhealthy in your age.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
He was delivering the letters when somebody bumped into him. He was afraid of meeting people since the strange Derelk’s lover who left gigantic brusie on his left eye. The person who walked on him was, of course, Derek Hale himself, and suddenly Stiles found his shoes very interesting.  
  
“You look badly” the older man said. He raised his hand and touched Stiles’ head gently. “Can’t you fight?” Stiles remained quiet. He felt too humiliated to answer. He turned on his heel and started walking away.  
  
”Wait” Derek said. Stiles paused and looked in Hale’s eyes. The most beautiful eyes in the world. “Why? Why are you watching me?”  
  
“Because I… I think I love you” confessed the younger man. Derek’s face softened. He approached him. Now they were facing each otcher. Derek’s lips were six inches away from Stiles’. Stiles was sorter (It was he perfect height for forehad kisses... shut up, Derek), but it was Derek who was extraordinarily tall. Stiles woudn’t mind being so close to him, if it was any other situation.  
  
“Why?” Derek asked him In challenging way. „Why do you love me? Is it because... Do you want to kiss me?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Maybe you want me go to the b… maybe you want to make love to me? There’s no one in my apartment now. We would have time just for ourselves.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“What do you want from me then?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Nothing?” Derek wasn’t so confused in his whole life. Was was wrong with this kid? You cannot ‘love’ (or whatever) somebody and want nothing in return… Can you?  
  
“Nothing.” Stiles said not leaving any doubts for Derek. He was different from everybody he meet. If their, let’s say, friendship started differently, Derek would make him feel... No, he probably would just fuck him into the mattress, who he was kidding. ‘Seriously, Derek, seriously? You idiot, he’s not better than anybody.’ He told himself.  
  
With that Stiles turned and started walking away from the man who still reamined speachless. Stiles coudn’t hear the man’s thoughts. He walked away just a few steps only to turn around and come all the way back to face Derek again. He raised his golden eyes and asked “Can I take you to the cafe? Ice carem sounds good to you?”  
  
“Yes.” Derek said after a while. He was going to teach this kid a lesson. It was going to be a good one. Stiles grinned as if he was a kid and Derek just told him they will have Christmas every day for a month. Or a year.  
  
  
***  
  
  
“How long?” Derek asked. They were in a nice cafe and Stiles was sitting quietly.  
  
“Am I watching you? Two months.” He answered smiling ashamedly.  
  
“In the morning… What did you say?” Derek asked bending himself over the table.  
  
“That I love you.” Derek rolled his eyes on that.  
  
“It doesn’t exist. Love, you know.”  
  
“Is does.”  
  
“No. Don’t you have friends?”  
  
“I have one, but he’s away now. He went to a college.”  
  
“What about you?”  
  
“I’m working to save some money to go to college. But now I’m learning languages. I know Polish, it was my mothers native language, and I’m learning Portuguese and French.”  
  
“That’s impressing, Stiles.” Damn, kid was smart. Stiles looked like an easygoing, always loud person, but with Derek he was very shy and quiet.  
  
“No, I just have a good memory.”  
  
The meeting should be weird considering everything they been through but it actually went really good. They were talking about everything. Stiles finalny felt comfortable enough to start giving longer answers. Now, he couldn't shut his pretty mouth. He started rambling about everything and nothing at the same time. While Stiles was answering one of more complicated story about his friend Scott, he looked over Derek arms and saw a couple which was acting like they were the center of the world. He thought that it’s how love must look like. Derek followed his gaze.  
  
“This? This is what people do when they know a little ahat they’re doing.” He said. Stile felf like he was punched. Again. Derek reached his arm and took one of Stiles’. The boy understood what that meant and started petting back of Hale’s palm, gently, not really knowing what he was doing. His fingers burned with the contact of Derek’s skin. It was like a drug. His fingers became more and more confident with every touch.  
  
  
***  
  
  
It was late. They were going to catch the bus when they saw it approaching to the bus stop.  
  
“If we catch it” Derek said turning to the boy, “I will let you come to my flat. If not, game’s over, lover-boy.” Stiles nooded and they started running. The driver didn’t saw them ad the bus left.  
  
“I guess this is out goodbye” Derek said. His face didn’t show any emotions. Stiles felt nothing but disappointment. He let his chance with Derek slip through his fingers.  
  
But luck didn’t abandon Stiles. The driver finally spotted them, and stopped the bus. The doors opened. Stiles was the happiest person in the Universe.  
  
  
***  
  
  
They were at his appartment, just like he promissed.  
  
“What else do you know about me?” Derek asked coming out of his bathroom. He changed  to oversized, unbuttoned fair-blue shirt he suspected Stiles would love. And Stiels did. He saw that Derek was wearing only gray boxers beneath it. They were sitting at the kitchen table. “Tell me, what do you see when one or another comes here.”  
  
Stilles swalowed. ”It’s called... you make love. I used to watch you then, now I don’t. Not anymore.” Stiles assured.  
  
“It has nothing to do with love. Tell me, what do i do?”  
  
Stiles swallowed again. He felt liek he had something in his throat that was destroying his ability to speak. “You’re ripping yours clothes off, and theirs too. Then you lay down on bed, or floor...”  
  
“Or?” Derek interrupted. He got up, and walked away towards the door to lock them.  
  
“Or on this table.” Stiles said, running away form the older man’s gaze. “Then you lift your arms and you lay your head on ‘em.”  
  
“Show me. Show me how do I do that.” Stiles obeyed. Derek started walking towards him, slowly, not stoping for a moment. His eyes never left Stiles’. Finally he was close enough to slide his leg in between Stiles’ tights.  “Have you been with somebody before?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“And when you looked at me, did you do it with yourself?”  
  
“No. I used to, but now I...” Derek started petting his hair, moving his leg against the boy’s hardness. He get down closer. Stiles looked in the older man’s eyes. “Now I just think about you.”  
  
“Shhh...” Derek shushed him sitting on the ground. “Don’t say anything now.” Then he grabbed Stiles’ palms and started undressing himself using the boy’s hands for that. He started with his shirt. Derek was really pleased with Stiles’ reacton on his abs. Derek moved his palms to his boxers. Stiles tensed for a moment, not sure how he should react. Derek got up and pulled Stiles up with him, pressing his erecion to Stiles’. He released the boy’s arms and pulled down his own boxers. He grabbed boy’s neck and kissed his jawline. Then theirs lips crashed together in a ‘more teeth tha tongue’ kiss. Stiles moaned, and returned the kiss. Derek was the one to break it.  
  
“Don’t be afraid.” He said. Derek grabbed Stiles’ palms once more and put them on his stomach. He was letting Stiles to explore his body. When the boy’s hands finally reached his hard dick, he started stroking himself still holding and directing the boy’s palms. Stiles didn’t stop moaning. Derek let him stroke him all by himself. Stiles treid his best but everything in his moves was a bit awkward. The boy wasn’t used to pleasing somebody else. Derek started palming the boy’s pants when Stiles came.  
  
“Already?”Derek coudn’t do anything but laugh. The boy came faster that he thought he would. But he felt like he accomplished his mission. He finally showed him that love doesn’t exist. That what the boy felt wasn’t love.  
  
Stiles started crying and run out of his apartment.  
  
When it happend, Derek understood what he had done. A terrible mistake. „Wait!” he yelled after Stiles, but the kid was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Then he realised that he didn’t know where Stiles lives exactly. He did the only thing he could think of: he pulled out from his closed a huge piece of paper. With red sharpie he written ‘Stiles, I’m sorry. Please call me!’ He left it on the window sill in his bedroom. He was waiting for the call. Half an hour later he realised Stiles left his coat. Derek got dressed and run out from the appatment. He left determined to find Stiles’ flat, even if it was going to take his whole night.  
  
Because Derek realised that something has changed. When he was sitting alone he realised that Stiles was the one who was definitely worth it.

### ***

Derek was going towards Stiles' appartment building. He was going to search for his flat for the whole night if he had to. It turned out it wasn't necessary when he saw an ambulance coming to the building. He knew it was something about the kid but he wasn’t allowed to come closer or to go to the hospital. He wasn’t his family.  
  
Few days later he heard a rumour about a young man working at the post office who tried to kill himslef. He has been saved (‘Thank God!’ Derek thought) but he had to take his time to recover. Apparently, the boy has fallen in love with a wrong person.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Derek was waiting. He couldn’t focus on his daily duties. He was waiting for Stiles to come back home. He wanted to see his face, hear his laugh, count his moles... But most importantly he wanted to appologize to him properly and make everything up to him. He wanted to take care of the boy who used to watch him.

He has fallen for him.  
  
Suddenly his phone rang. It was a blocked number.  
  
“Stiles? Stiles, please forgive me...”  
  
“Um? Sorry? Am I talking to Thomas?”  
  
“Oh... it’s a mistake.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
One day he was going to the post office again, just to see if Stiles came back. It was a cloudy day, with a promise of a havy rain. A day when everybody was feeling miserable. Derek was wearing the boy’s coat. It was te only thing that kept him sane while he was waiting.  
  
He looked through the window and he saw him.

His Stiles.

Alive.

Back in work.

And in Derek’s life.  
  
He smiled wildly and came to Stiles’ desk. He wanted to say hello, but he was too happy to make any noises. Stiles was looking like he was very busy. When he acknowledged somebody's presence he raised his head. Derek’s smile dissapeared.

Something was off. Something was not right.

They looked at each other in silence. Unpleasand one. No one was the first to break it. Finally, Derek brought a small smile back to his face. He had a chance to fix two lives.  
  
“Stiles, look, I’m so sorry...”  
  
“No, I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine Stiles. You have nothing to apologize for.”  
  
“I sold my binoculars. I don’t watch you anymore, sir.  I’m really sorry for disturbing you.” With that Stiles came back to work.  
  
“Stiles...”  
  
“Der.. This... Us, it was a mistake. I finally understood. I thought that i love you but I didn't. It wasn't a feeling, I was imagining all of it. I created my vision of you. The perfect one. Now I understood you're a person. Living one. And that i can't behave just like that.You know it was like loving the favorite tv star: you love them but it's more platonic, you'll never met them or have a family with them. I get it now. You were right after all: love doesn't exist. Don't worry, I'm not going to watch you anymore. In fact I'm moving soon. I got accepted to the college that is far enough for us to never meet again. I'll move out in a week. I guess taht this is out goodbye."

Derek was standing still not able to move. "Is there anything more I can do for you, sir?” Stiles asked with official tone again.  
  
Derek coudn't say a word because in that very moment his world collapsed.


End file.
